Smile for the Cameras

Smile for the Cameras

1

Now

The August heat sticks to my skin. I’ve been back in New York City for only two weeks and I’m already wishing I’d waited until fall, when the breeze is more forgiving and pedestrians aren’t as buzzy.

I’m here because my agent, Fiona Thatcher, told me it’s where I need to be if I’m serious about reviving my acting career. And she’s right. Of course she’s right. I’m not big enough to make a name for myself living somewhere else, like Nicole Kidman in Nashville or Sandra Bullock in Austin. That’s why I’ve dragged myself out of the small corner of my hometown upstate.

After years away from the spotlight, being here—or any place with more than three stoplights—results in a sensory overload. Upstate, I could go weeks without seeing people if I wanted. Even if I didn’t want. Here, I can’t go anywhere without bumping shoulders with strangers, hearing catcalls and the endless rumbling of cars as they pass.

Here, I’m one of the thousands trying to turn their dreams into reality. Except my dreams already came true once. I’m just trying to get them back.

I arrive at Pendulum’s ten minutes earlier than expected, but Fiona’s already beat me here. This establishment is another realm that presents the best of what the city has to offer. The hostess leads me toward the back of the restaurant, passing linen-clad tables and a strikingly beautiful waitstaff.

“You’re early,” Fiona says when she stands, greeting me with air-kisses on both cheeks. She looks almost identical to the way she did three months ago, when I last saw her. Black blazer and slacks, short dark hair tucked behind her ears. A mauve color on her lips, which part to reveal perfect teeth. “Happy to be back?”

“I suppose,” I say, taking my seat. I’ve never been very good at small talk, and I’ve found since returning to the city, I’m out of practice. For so long, it was only Mom and me. Now I’m surrounded by people again, trying to earn my way back into their good graces. “Are you here long?”

“No, I fly back this afternoon. I wanted to talk to you in person first.”

Fiona, like most agents, is based in Los Angeles. For someone only a few years older than me, she’s already been quite successful. Her most famous client just signed on to join a superhero franchise. Another client stars in a network hospital drama. She reps a slew of up-and-coming teen actors.

And then there’s me.

“You look good,” she says, her eyes appraising each detail of my ensemble. I’m not sure she means it. I wasn’t sure what to wear, so I ended up throwing on a vintage sundress that was popular several seasons ago.

I’m about to ask her if she approves of my look, if she thinks it’ll help me stand out in auditions, when our waitress arrives at the table. She’s tall and slim, with flowing hair and expertly done makeup. I’m sure she, like most of the staff, is an aspiring actress or singer.

If she knows who I am, she doesn’t let on, a sign she’s on the right track. No one makes it in this industry by fangirling. The goal is to act like you’re one of the elites, not an admirer.

We order our drinks—gin for Fiona, water for me. The waitress wanders off, stopping at another table. That’s when I spot her. A famous actress from the nineties who hasn’t been in anything for a while. She’s wearing sunglasses and a summer cardigan, and her posture suggests she doesn’t want recognition.

“Did you see her?” Fiona asks.

“Is that—”

“Mm-hmm.” She smiles and nods. “Word on the street is, she’s going to be in the new Scorsese film.”

“Really?”

“It’s a smart move for her. Revitalizing her career at the perfect moment.”

I watch the actress as she takes delicate sips of her drink. Even though she’s far more famous than I ever was, if she can take off a few years and come back successful, maybe I can, too.

“Are you going to drag this out?” I ask Fiona. Again, I’m not great with the small talk, and since she insisted on meeting in person, I assume she has news about my last audition.

“Straight to business. I can roll with that.” She smiles conspiratorially and wiggles in her seat, like an exec about to give a pitch. “It’s down to you and another actress, but the producers loved your intensity.”

I inhale, and it’s like the air around me is cleaner, fresher. Full of hope. Then worry returns.

“What’s the catch?”

“It’s a big role. We’re talking press tours, premieres. Possible award show buzz. This is everything you need to get your career back on track.”

“Which is why I want the part.” I so f***ing want the part, and I’m afraid my eagerness is peeking through. I repeat, “What’s the catch?”

“Shooting won’t start until the spring, which gives you plenty of time. Meanwhile, the production company is going full steam ahead on another project, and they want you to join.”

Two jobs at once? My heart flutters with excitement.

“What is it?”

Fiona’s lips tighten. “It’s the Grad Night reunion.”

Just as quickly, that same enthusiasm plummets. The possibility of a reunion has been mentioned a few times before, but I’ve always refused to get involved. “No, Fiona. I told you—”

“I know. You don’t want to do it. You’ve never wanted to do it. But you’re now the only holdout.”

“They have Leo?”

“He signed last week.”

Leo is the biggest star to come out of the Grad Night franchise. He’s more than an actor. More than a celebrity. And he also happens to be my ex-boyfriend, although we’ve since lost touch.

“Why would he agree to a reunion? His career is on fire.”

“For the same reason you should agree to do it. One yes now leads to more down the road. Leo knows how to play the game, and his career is proof.”

“I don’t want to participate in a reunion. I’m trying to branch out. Distance myself from the franchise.”

“Right now, it’s more important to remind people who you are. Reunions are all the rage. Every big cast is getting together for either an interview or a reboot, and this is the perfect opportunity to get your face back out there.”

Reclaiming my career is the first step in finding myself again. I want my face out there. I do, more than anything. But not for the Grad Night films. I’ve spent the past twenty years trying to forget about that shoot, even though it’s the gig that kick-started my career.

The waitress returns with our drinks, giving me a few seconds to compose myself. The role I want could relaunch my career and make people forget I was ever part of a horror film all at once. Emotional drama. Big director. But I can’t land that project without committing to the reunion, and I promised myself I’d never participate.

“This was a mistake. I should have known better than to think I could waltz back to New York and pick up with my career where I left off.”

“Don’t be like that. I told you they want you for the film, they just want you to play along for the reunion, too.”

I sip some water, trying to settle my rising anxieties. “Tell me the details.”

“It’s a two-day shoot. They have the original cast back together. Including Leo. And Cole will be there, too.”

Cole Parks. The director behind the Grad Night films. His father, Daniel Parks, is one of Hollywood’s most popular directors. If Leo has been the biggest success on-screen, Cole has been the biggest one behind the camera. I’m shocked he’d take the time to participate, too. But then again, maybe it’s not that surprising. Grad Night has always been Cole’s passion project, and it ended up being far more popular than any of us could have predicted.

“Where and when?”

“Shooting starts this weekend.”

I let out a sound that’s half-laugh, half-gasp. “Are you serious? I just got back to the city.”

Her eyes dart to the left. “I may or may not have given the impression you were considering getting involved.”

“Fiona—”

“Hey, I’m doing this for you. I know you’re trying to take things in a different direction, and I support that.” She pauses. “But you need this.”

I stifle my outrage, staring at my water glass, drops of condensation dampening the tablecloth. Fiona is smart. Probably too smart to take on a has-been actress, but she did anyway because she believes in me. And she’s far more supportive than Gus, the last agent I had. She wants me to succeed, and she wouldn’t push for this if she didn’t believe it could open the door to bigger opportunities.

“Where?” I repeat.

“Blackstone Cottage.”

My palms slap against the table. “Are you kidding me?”

“They want to shoot on the original location. Have a big nostalgia vibe, getting the whole gang back together in the same place.”