The Solitude Practice

The Solitude Practice

Welcome

The spiritual writer Henri Nouwen once said that “solitude is not a private, therapeutic place. Rather, it is the place of . . . encounter.”

We live in a therapeutic culture, where far more emphasis is put on feeling good than being good. Inside a culture focused on wellness spirituality, it’s easy to view practices like solitude, silence, and stillness as no more than spiritual disciplines for introverts who like that sort of thing.

But this is not the solitude of Jesus, or John the Baptist, or Elijah the prophet, or any of the great ones of the Way. For them, solitude wasn’t a day spa for the soul. They may have spent time resting in the quiet, but ultimately, the goal wasn’t to run away from the world but to run to God. And then come back to the world to love and serve.

You see solitude all over the life of Jesus. As the Gospel writer Luke put it, “Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”

And yet: In the digital age, it is now possible to go your entire life without ever being truly alone with God. Our devices keep us tethered to the world of noise and regularly drown out the voice of God in our hearts. We are starved for solitude, living through a global famine of quiet—noise refugees, seeking a new home where we can find rest in God.

Solitude is not an easy path, but it is the ancient path—the Jesus path—to a strong, deep, joyful, vibrant life with God.

Welcome to Practice of solitude.

Solitude is just one of nine core Practices in the body of resources available from Practicing the Way. The Practices are spiritual disciplines centered on the life rhythms of Jesus. They are designed not to add even more to your already overbusy life but to slow you down and create space for the Spirit of God to form you to be with Jesus, become like him, and do what he did. Ultimately, they are a way to experience the love of God.

To run another Practice or learn more, turn to page 104.

How to Use This Guide

A few things you need to know

This Practice is designed to be done in community, whether with a few friends around a table, within your small group, in a larger class format, or with your entire church.

The Practice is four sessions long. We recommend meeting together every week or every other week. For those of you who want to spend more time on this Practice, we’ve included an additional four weeks of bonus conversations in the appendix to go deeper in Scripture and discussion. You are welcome to pause for these conversations in between sessions or skip over them.

You will all need a copy of this Companion Guide. You can purchase a print or ebook version from your preferred retailer or find a free digital PDF at launch.practicingtheway.org. We recommend the print version so you can stay away from your devices during the Practices, as well as take notes during each session. But we realize that digital works better for some.

Each session should take about one to two hours, depending on how long you allow for discussion and whether or not you begin with a meal. See the sample session on the following page.

Sample Session

Here is what a typical session could look like.

Welcome

Welcome the group and open in prayer.

Introduction (2–3 min.)

Watch the introduction to the session and pause the video when indicated for your first discussion.

Discussion 01: Practice reflection in triads (15–20 min.)

Process your previous week’s spiritual exercise in smaller groups of three to five people with the questions in the Guide.

Teaching (20 min.)

Watch the teaching portion of the video.

Discussion 02: Group conversation (15–30 min.)

Pause the video when indicated for a group-wide conversation.

Testimony and tutorial (5–10 min.)

Watch the rest of the video.

Prayer to close

Close by praying the liturgy in the Guide or however you choose.

The Weekly Rhythm

The four sessions of this Practice are designed to follow a four-part rhythm that is based on our model of spiritual formation.

Learn

Gather together as a community for an interactive experience of learning about the Way of Jesus through teaching, storytelling, and discussion. Bring your Guide to the session and follow along.

Practice

On your own, before the next session, go and “put it into practice,” as Jesus himself said. We will provide weekly spiritual exercises to integrate this practice into your everyday life, as well as recommended resources to go deeper.

Reflect

Reflection is key to spiritual formation. After your practice and before the next session, set aside 10–15 minutes to reflect on your experience. Reflection questions are included in this Guide at the end of each session.

Process together

When you come back together, watch the introduction, and then start by sharing your reflections with your group. This moment is crucial, because we need one another to process our lives before God and make sense of our stories. If you are meeting in a larger group, you will need to break into smaller subgroups for this conversation so everyone has a chance to share.

Tips on Beginning a New Practice

This Guide is full of spiritual exercises, time-tested strategies, and good advice on the spiritual discipline of solitude.

But it’s important to note that the Practices are not formulaic. We can’t use them to control our spiritual formation or even our relationship with God. Sometimes they don’t even work very well. Sometimes we go into solitude and experience God’s presence like never before, but other times we just feel bored and distracted. That’s normal.

The key with the spiritual disciplines is to let go of outcomes and just offer them up to Jesus in love.

Because it’s so easy to lose sight of the ultimate aim of a Practice, here are a few tips to keep in mind as you enter into solitude.

01 Start small

Start where you are, not where you “should” be. It’s counterintuitive, but the smaller the start, the better chance you have of really sticking to it and growing over time.

02 Think subtraction, not addition

Don’t try to “add” solitude into your already overbusy, overfull life. You are likely already stressed and tired. Instead, think, What can I cut out of my daily schedule? How can I slow my life down? Where can I find a little breathing room to rest and pray?

Formation is about less, not more. About slowing down and simplifying your life around what matters most: life with Jesus.

03 You get out what you put in

The more fully you give yourself to this Practice, the more life-changing it will be; the more you just dabble with it, the more shortcuts you take, the less of an effect it will have on your transformation.

04 Remember the J curve

Experts on learning tell us that mastering a new skill tends to follow a J-shaped curve; we tend to get worse before we get better. You may enjoy a quiet morning before work or a lazy Sunday afternoon, but when you go into solitude, you may feel itchy or anxious or emotional. That’s okay. Expect it to be a bit awkward at first; it will get easier in time. Just stay with the Practice.

05 There is no formation without repetition

Spiritual formation is slow, deep, cumulative work that happens over years, not weeks. The goal of this four-week experience is just to get you started on a journey of a lifetime. Upon completion of this Practice, you will have a map for the journey ahead and hopefully some possible companions for the Way.

But what you do next is up to you.