Excerpt
Revenge of the Phantom Furball #2
It was Saturday morning, and Joe was in the paint department of the local hardware store. He was just wondering what color he could make if he blended orange, purple, and gold paint, when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a streak of gray disappearing under the shelves.
“What was that?” he said.
“Mmm?” muttered Dad, who was reading the labels on the paint cans. He didn’t look up.
Joe’s big sister, Sarah, frowned. “I didn’t see anything.”
“It was gray, sort of like a squirrel or something,” said Joe, crouching down and peering under the shelves to see where it had gone.
Sarah rolled her eyes. “They don’t let squirrels in stores, weirdo!”
Joe scowled and tried to think of a clever reply, but just then his little brother, Toby, whizzed past, doing a wheelie with the shopping cart.
“Look out!” called Dad.
“Hey!” yelped Sarah, jumping out of the way.
Joe grinned. With a bit of luck, Toby would get her next time! He turned back to the paint charts and was about to come up with another crazy color combination when suddenly he saw it again out of the corner of his eye—a flash of movement. He turned sharply and saw a tail disappearing around the end of the aisle.
“There it is!” he yelled. “Look, Dad!”
“Hmm?” Dad looked up. “What is it, Joe?”
“A squirrel going shopping, apparently,” Sarah said with a smirk.
“I definitely saw something,” huffed Joe.
“Okay, okay,” said Dad, trying to soothe the situation. “Maybe it was a guide dog—they’re allowed in stores.”
Joe was about to explain that it was smaller than a guide dog when Toby whizzed past again.
“Stop that!” Dad reached out and grabbed the shopping cart, stopping it dead. He sighed. “The sooner you let me concentrate on choosing this paint, the sooner we can get out of here.” He turned to Sarah. “Hurry up and pick which color you want for your bedroom. Toby, you hold the shopping cart still while I load it up. And Joe, can you go and find me a plug for the bathtub? Which reminds me—you still need to get a new sponge for your mom!”
Joe’s face reddened. Mom’s last bath sponge had been chewed up by an undead pet that visited him—a zombie hamster named Dumpling with a huge appetite! Not that his parents knew that. No one had been able to see the hamster, apart from Joe. So he’d gotten the blame for the mangled sponge—not to mention turning their kitchen upside down and eating his principal’s lunch!
“And don’t forget you promised to pay for it out of your allowance,” added Dad. “It’ll be a nice surprise for Mom when she gets back from work.”
Joe sighed. Sometimes life just wasn’t fair!
The bathroom department was at the back of the store. Joe walked through the aisles, past towering shelves. There was an entire section filled with different toilet seats. Joe had never seen so many designs. There were all the usual ones and some fancy ones, too—a shiny gold one, a see-through one with goldfish printed on it . . . and a very weird one that looked like a shark’s mouth. Joe smiled; he wished he could buy that to scare Sarah! He was just searching for bathtub plugs when suddenly a small furry head popped out of one of the display toilets.
“Whoa!” Joe jumped. It definitely wasn’t a guide dog, but it wasn’t a squirrel, either. It was a cat—an odd-looking silvery-gray cat that was covered in dirty bandages. As soon as it spotted Joe, it shot out of the toilet like a cannonball, straight into his arms, and gripped him tightly with its claws.
“Ow!” Joe yelped as the cat clawed its way up to his shoulder where it perched like a parrot, peering into his face. Joe winced. The cat’s breath smelled like rotten fish.
